One year after leaving my corporate job, I’ve learned that freedom isn’t about where you are – it’s about what your nervous system can hold.
In July 2024, I left my job in London and told myself: if it doesn’t work out, I can always go back. One year later, I’ve faced more guilt, doubt and identity confusion than I ever expected. And no – I won’t be going back. But I’ve had to ask myself what I really thought freedom would feel like.
The Hidden Comforts of Corporate Life No One Talks About
Post-pandemic, I was burnt out. I had spent years inside the system:
- Sitting on agenda-less calls while people answered emails rather than pay attention
- Hustling behind the scenes so others could take the credit for my work
- Tethered to my laptop making sure my Teams status stayed red, heaven forbid it would show me as ‘away’
I’d close the laptop at 5:30pm, flop onto the sofa, and wonder why I felt so numb.
Time blurred. I’d say things like “how are we halfway through the year already?” without realising I’d been living on autopilot.
What I Thought the Freelance Life Would Feel Like
I dreamt of something different. Building something meaningful of my own. Starting my mornings with intention. Setting my own hours. Living in sync with my body and energy. Flying to new countries. Working from co-works. Surfing at lunchtime. Teaching yoga. Taking calls from anywhere. I thought I’d work less and earn more. That I’d feel proud, free, fulfilled. But I hadn’t accounted for just how much comfort I’d unknowingly been getting from the corporate container.
There’s a safety in the structure, the salary, the clear lines between “on” and “off.” There’s ease in being told when and where to be. Even mediocrity feels secure when you know you’ll still have a payslip at the end of the month. I’ve heard others echo the same. One client said she didn’t want to go back to a 9-5, but felt jealous when dropping her boyfriend off at his. She missed the predictability. The simplicity of showing up.
The Unexpected Void That Comes After Quitting Your Job
When I left, I didn’t have a clear plan. My business wasn’t fully established. I thought, now I finally have the time to focus on what lights me up.
Yet instead, I spiralled. After a decade inside the system, I hadn’t realised how deeply those patterns ran. I tied my worth to productivity. I couldn’t sit still without guilt. I clung to a 9-5 rhythm even though no one was watching. I’d sit in front of my laptop, mind racing, unsure what I was even doing. The doubts were loud. The pressure heavy.
Living Abroad Didn’t Fix My Burnout (But It Taught Me This)
I spent three months in Portugal teaching yoga, surfing, and connecting with people. For the first time in a long while, I started to feel alive.
But my business stalled. I had to face a hard truth: I didn’t know how to hold ease and lack of productivity without guilt. Freedom wasn’t just about escape – it required capacity. Capacity in my nervous system, my mindset, and my emotional bandwidth.
That lesson stayed with me as I moved into winter in Sri Lanka, where structure returned alongside new clients and future collaborations. Yet even in paradise, I found myself chasing certainty, still caught in the need for “more.” More clients. More income. I was living the life I thought I wanted, and I still wasn’t able to be fully in it. I was perpetually thinking ‘what next’.
Freedom can be found — but not experienced — if your nervous system doesn’t feel safe enough to receive it.
Breaking the Corporate Conditioning: A Real Look at the Work
Back in Portugal again, I tried to reset. And in some ways, I did. But I found myself back in the pattern of overworking. Coaching clients, creating workshops, hosting events, teaching yoga everyday. I barely saw the ocean. I could feel it again – that pendulum swing. From too much structure, to not enough, and back again. I could feel the same patterns creeping back in. The overcompensating. The chasing.
What Life Looks Like One Year After Leaving Corporate
Right now, I’m somewhere in the middle. I’ve found a better rhythm with my working hours. I’ve built something I’m proud of. I’ve created opportunities I only ever dreamed of. But the inner dialogue is still there. I feel guilty if I close the laptop early. I compare myself to others. I wonder if I’m stuck in a scarcity mindset as I navigate an inconsistent income. Shadow work shows up like whack-a-mole. Relaxing feels like something I have to earn. I’ve created this life with all the freedom I longed for and yet, at times, I still struggle to let myself enjoy it.
How This Journey Made Me a Better Coach
But here’s why I’m sharing this – not just as someone figuring it out, but as a coach. Because authenticity is one of the core values of my work. And I don’t want to be another person online pretending they’ve got it all together.
I’ve walked through the doubt. The identity loss. The fear. And I’ve come out the other side more resilient, more rooted, and more alive than I’ve ever felt.
This last year has cracked me open and humbled me in a thousand different ways. Yet it’s made me a better coach for it, because rather than guiding from theory, I’m guiding from lived experience.
And no, I wouldn’t change any of it.
Because now when I sit with clients who feel stuck, scared, or unsure… I don’t try to pull them out of it. I meet them where they are, with the full understanding that the messy middle is the work. I meet them in the fear, in the pause and in the quiet redefinition of what success now means.
Why Success Isn’t Just About Income Anymore
The corporate system taught us to measure success in numbers: invoices, clients, revenue, reach. But success looks different for me now.
Now, success looks like presence. It’s the depth I bring to conversations. The way I respond to uncertainty with more trust than fear. The fact I feel alive instead of on autopilot. And I see this shift mirrored in my clients too, who describe feeling more grounded and open as they navigate life with a new kind of strength. Not the rigid kind that pushes through, but the flexible kind that adapts, softens, and still moves forward. There’s resilience. And there’s a quiet confidence that doesn’t need to be proved, only lived.
Freedom Is a Nervous System Experience, Not Just a Lifestyle
And here’s what I know now. Freedom isn’t a destination. It’s not a job title or a location. It’s a shift. In mindset. In nervous system capacity. It’s the ability to feel safe in stillness, to hold uncertainty, to trust yourself even when nothing external is guaranteed.
These are the things that have helped me begin to anchor into that:
- EFT tapping – Rewiring the belief that I need to constantly prove my worth through doing
- Nervous system regulation – Expanding my capacity to be still, joyful, uncertain, and at peace
- Cyclical living – Honouring rest as much as visibility, not needing to have maximum output all year round
- Identity and shadow work – Grieving the past versions of me who only knew how to survive by overachieving
Feeling Lost After Leaving Corporate? You’re Not Alone
If you’re in a moment of transition, I see you. You don’t need more strategy. You need self-trust. You need space to adjust to this new version of your life. You need to know that you’re not broken – you’re rebuilding.
This is the work I now support others through. If you want support navigating your own messy middle, you’re welcome to reach out. Not because I have all the answers, but because I’ve walked through the questions too. And I’ll walk alongside you as you learn to trust the life you’re creating.
Book a free discovery call to explore how I can support you in stepping fully into your version of freedom.